My bff, t~, texted me the afternoon of the 4th of July and asked if I wanted to go see Cyrus Myrus with her and her family. She had two extra tickets (pretty good seats), it was close to Sissy G.'s birthday, so we went...had a great time.
Then on Sunday, she texted me again asking if I wanted to go the American Idols concert! Hoss was going out of town, Sissy G was babysitting, Itchy Moo was going to Scout Camp, and Oldest jumped all over it......so we went. Last night. It was fun!First, he wouldn't wear what I wanted him to (what?!). Later, I realized that my outfit and his would have totally matched....aww, fer cute!
Then as we were driving up to WVC, he asked if he could plug his mp3 player into the dash and listen together....
Me: "*BIG audible SIGH* (because I'm one of those moms)...I guess...(finish letting out the sigh)...but don't play crap."
Him: "I don't have any crap on here, Mom! I even have stuff you know!"
We listen and I drive.
He's turnin' it up.
After the third song and I didn't know ANY of them, I ALMOST told him to turn it off and let's us listen to my pre-idol show all ready in the CD player, when I stopped......and thought: This is not about the music. This is him, wanting to bring to you a part of what he digs. This is him, wanting you to be part of his world (not that our worlds are that far apart, but the older he gets....the more that gap ebbs and flows).
So I started "noddin' ya head" to his music.
The next song was Peggy Sue (yes, the one by Buddy Holly) . I liked it, he liked it. Then he said, "Mom, my science teacher played this for us on his drums! Listen to it, it's nuts!! He's so good! Then he played it for us on his guitar and sang it. He's, by far, my favorite teacher I've ever had."
Cool.
The concert was fun. Oldest and I had fun together and it was fun to hang out with t~ and her family.
I even took a bunch of pictures. The concert ones were too dark, but thought I got some great ones of me and Oldest together and of me and t~ together, I even thought if they turned out really good I might post them today.......
I'm putting the pictures on my computer this morning, when Oldest walks up and says, "Ewww! I have two big zits! Don't put those on your blog okay Mom?"
I assured him I wouldn't be posting ANY of them as I was making the following mental notes to MYSELF:
1. You're going on a diet.
2. Hit up Dr. R about the Rhinoplasty he offered. STAT.
3. Make an appointment with old friend from the Peds unit, who is now a NP for a dermatologist....girl, you need something for that skin!
4. Try not to smile that wide again......(make appointment with dentist)
5. I better stop at 4.
I have somewhat made peace with the fact that I'm not good looking. I know. I hopefully make up for it in other areas.....but there is NOTHING like close-up photos taken with a camera held at arms length to remind you of life's harsh realities.
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39 comments:
I love your profile picture! You ARE beautiful. We all go through these days, and it takes me about 10 self-portraits before I find one I'm willing to post.
I've never had kids, but due to genetics and losing a lot of weight about 6 years ago, I have stretch marks in places I didn't know I had skin. It gets to me some days, but others, I just deal with it. Sometimes being a woman sucks.
OK, now I feel really idiotic. I had no idea you were born with a cleft palate, so again, please forgive my baby blanket joke. I really wasn't making light of people who do knit for babies with cleft palates, it was just one of those things that if you knew me, you would know it was ridiculous for me to do, as I don't know how to knit, at all. This is why I get into trouble with my blog sometimes. My sarcasm gets the best of me.
OK, groveling over. BFFs again!
You are such a great mom to listen to his music and see it for what it was- a moment together. Sometimes I remind myself to do that- but not often enough.
And you are SO NOT alone on your "all about you" moment. I don't know a single person who doesn't load up their pictures and go- "What the...?" I could list 100 things about myself that I hate but I'm trying this new thing out- being who I am and owning it with pride. I still compare and stress and dream about tummy tucks, perfect skin and size 6 jeans but there's something really great about just being who we are. I stopped messing with my hair color, bought bigger clothes that fit me comfortably for where I'm at now and even passed on a breast reduction/lift when I had a lump removed because being regular old authentic me is just fine. I can tell by the little glimpse I have of your life that you are an amazing and groovy chick and that's all you gotta "b" :)
kristina 1&2, my profile pic was taken by my sweet and talented friend Lucky Red Hen (check out her work!). She "says" she didn't edit....but, none of the shots I take of myself look that good! I love her!
I don't want this to turn into a "feel bad for me because I think I'm ugly" post...it's not. I do, however, like to keep things real.
I know we all have this type of conversation with ourselves at times.
I don't want you to feel bad about the cleft palate comment...I wasn't offended in the least. I knew you weren't making fun of anyone but yourself....I get that. I love sarcasm and (am guilty of) using it all the time!
I love that no one can tell that I have a cleft palate. It means the surgeon did a good job. I forget too, until....UNTILL I hold a camera out as far as my short arms will go and take a picture of myself, it's just not flattering!
Thanks for getting me!
wynn, you get me. I love that.
I love and appreciate your new plan..thanks for sharing.
Most of the time I'm practicing that too....I gotta b was definitely something I chose for a reason.
Thanks for getting that too!
=)
You've seen me recently. 'Nuff said.
I loves ya girl. You look great and I'll defend my opinion to the death.
I have never noticed all this criticism you speak of about yourself. I am being honest about that.
I must meet this lucky read hen. I need her to take a picture of me:)
I gave up trying to find a decent picture of me without multiple chins/greasy skin/yuck hair/squinty eyes. This is why my main blog picture is the rear angle shot.
I always feel fat and ugly. I told Papi that I may not be a hottie like other women in our Ward but at least I make him laugh and I worship the ground he walks on. That should be enough, right?
Lucky Red Hen is bomb! I lurk on her blog sometimes.
If I ever need a picture for something big like a pprofile or a book jacket, I'm going to her......and she can edit to her little Lucky Red Hen's hearts content.
Whatever. You b. hot.
Let me get this straight, your son didn't want you to publish a photo of him with two little zits, but he was OK with you publishing that he went to an "American Idol" concert???
As one of the "uglies," I personally don't mind because I'm on the other side of my face. I don't see it, so it doesn't bother me. No one else seems to care, so it's fine by me.
Then again, my "ugliness" helped me develop my fabulous personality, so even though I'm not the most beautiful person in the room, I know I'm the most fun to listen to.
M.C. + A.I. = Annie is jealous!
P.S. Can I have T's phone number?
P.P.S. "Don't go changing to try to please me...I love you just the way you are!"
Check out the nose on this picture! And can I have your dermo's number??
And SO COOL!!! that you got to go to those concerts! Emily was offered a ticket to the AI concert here, but she was leaving for girl's camp on that same day, so she passed.
You are a cool mom! And really great to think about what it meant for oldest to share with you. You are awesome!
klin..you're hot.
You would love Lucky.
Let's do lunch.
Elastic, I adore you (and emailed you such as).
Lucky is the bomb. True dat.
geo. u r good 4 me.
u r also hotter.
lois!!
You get a standing 'O' for that comment!
Except....I think you're cute, sooooo......
annie, I actually wondered if you might be at either or both concerts...no? Hmmm...bummer. They were good.
I think you'd really like t~. I sure do.
I love you too.
Lisa...I think you are beautiful.
Is your company gone yet?
I've loved taking each of the kids on a fun date. I need to come up with something great for Itchy Moo next!
Mom of the year award to you for getting it at the right time, not two weeks later! Yea you!!
As a little review on the concert:
Jacuzzi=he was a'ight. Not my kind of music.
Ramiele=Really cute, weird outfit, but sang well.
Michael Johns=oh, baby. Sexy as ever. Sang Dream On....LOVED him!
Carly=A.mazing! She's looking pretty good. Couldn't tell whether it was a black glove on her hand or a tattoo.
What's her name....(oh, yeah: Kristy Cook)=She actually sang really well!! I enjoyed her. She's obviously had some further coaching.
Jason Dreds=Sang great. Not a lot of personality. Oldest liked him a lot.
Brooke=Sang great, little personality. She appreciated the "Utah Support" without actually mentioning the Mormons.
Syesha=WOW!! I wasn't a big fan during the season...but, WOW! she really gave an amazing performance.
David Archie=Cute, humble, started crying due to the crowds reaction to him. But couldn't hear him for the screaming.
David Cook=Good job, a little over confident, but definitely talented.
Not having a clue where the hell the car was=frustrating yet funny.
thanks e-dub.....doesn't happen all the time, but feels good when it does!
Totally jealous that you got to see Micheal Johns live and in person. Every year Annie and I say we are going to the AI concert but never do. I guess we are waiting for someone to give us free tickets.
carr, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gone if she hadn't had the extras. I'm so glad I did, though, it really was fun and good to see their talent!
I'm with you on number 1 and 4...mostly due to my breast friend's wedding and the cavities that need fixin'
American Idol- alright! Sounds fun, plus good quality time, love the story about listening to the music on the way up. Also, your hilarious- don't we all feel that way when we look at our own photos? Plus you're wrong! -You are good looking, I seem to remember a hot comment from your kids on the wedding photo- :). And yes, my bro Reg had worked the night shift, Isn't he the best! :)
Cool! Love the review!!
Yes, as of Sunday-company gone! :)
I've decided it is impossible to take an appealing picture of oneself holding a camera or phone at arm's length. I probably wouldn't like any close-up, but I look so much better when I hand the camera to a kid standing four feet away.
physk, I hate when those events come up...I'm learning to just chill about them. Just be me. Like me or don't. Whatevs.
chal, you are lucky to have such a great family!
I was hot back in the day!
lis...I'm sure you are relieved. It's nice to have them come and nice to have them go.
johnna! Hi! Long time!!
I completely agree with you.
I need to hand over the cam....I'm sure it was the angle!
came over from physcokity and i just thoroughly enjoyed that bit 'o witty and smart writing from you.
i'm still a freak about music at age 38, but still go thru this with my 14 year old all the time who rolls her eyes when she asks me if i know "who sings this song?" and i can answer. (of course, gloating.)
i don't usually love it, but at least i can show her who's boss and intimidate a little at the same time, which is what parenting is all about, really, right?
you are going right on google reader. we are gonna get along juuuuust fine.
mindi, welcome!
It's sounds like we have the "right" gig goin' on as far as parenting goes!! I like the intimidation and the I'm-not-as-dumb-as-you-think-I-am part the best. Don't know how much longer it will last, but...for now, it works!
Thanks for reading!
Google ate my comment. But you know I loves ya just the way you are. And I don't do pictures, so good for you for recording thing moment anyway.
And I have learned to cherish those moments when my kids want to share part of their worlds with me. They come more with some kids than others, but I'm trying to be more aware of them and be present. Good on you.
xo
I wish my mom would have let me share my music with her. We would have had a totally different relationship, I'm sure.
We are always harder on ourselves -especially when we've taken pics of ourselves. I think you're beautiful in so many ways, and you are more and more beautiful each day.
Btw, I love Lois' comment. Fawesome!
c-dub, I know-you know. I love you.
You're a great example to me.
eieio, I wish she had too. It's a small thing, really...those small things add up (I hope!).
I think you are one of the most physically beautiful people I've met. Truly. But I love who you are inside even more. Truly.
lois is a scream!
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