Ugly Betty

*I wrote this way back when I first started blogging. I'm recycling it not because I think it's a great post....but I truly am interested in the answer to the question I ask at the end......

Saw an interview the other morning on Good Morning America with America Ferrara and Salma Hayek talking about the new program on Thursday nights, just before my favorite!
I have had this on my mind ever since. I want to write something about it, but to be honest......it IS an uncomfortable subject for me. You see, I know something about being ugly.

• I was born with a clef lip and palate. My lip's parted on the side.
• My teeth were stained gray from antibiotics taken as a baby.
• I had braces TWICE, beginning at the age of 8.
• I have great olive colored skin, however, I have had pesky breakouts since puberty.
• I have struggled with my weight since day one.
• I still wear a bottom retainer.
• All my top front teeth are capped.

I K N O W what it means to not fit society's idea of beautiful. I have been called ugly to my face, and I'm sure, behind my back.

I have worked L O N G and H A R D to re-define what is ugly and what is beautiful.

America said in this interview when asked how long the "transformation" took that ".....we're all just an hour away from ugly."

How long do you suppose it took the maniacal puke that walked into that peaceful Amish community schoolhouse, excused all the boys and the pregnant teacher, tied up all the girls--with the intent to sexually violate them before he shot them---how long do you think it took for him to be what I consider ugly.

Ugly----is when the savages in Africa leave their wives at home and go find innocent women and B A B I E S to rape.

Ugly is when some uptight, self-righteous hag screams at the checker in the grocery line because she had to wait too long, or the guy that barks at the waiter for his dinner not being cooked to his perfection, or the popular "jock" at school tripping the "nerd" in the hall in front of everyone, or the parent that calls their kid names, or the man that beats his wife Saturday night and claims the front row, center pew Sunday morning.......not quite as ugly as murder and rape......but still ugly.

I could go on and on about what is truly ugly and none of it would have anything to do with physical appearance.

America says that she loves this character because "....she requires such a pure form of humanity." I've given that statement a lot of thought.

When I was young I was not only not physically beautiful........but I was painfully insecure. I KNEW I was different than my friends. Divorce, step parents, being poor, and sexual abuse also contributed to my ugliness. However, I compensated for my deficits by being a straight A student, by being funny, by being kind, loving and compassionate. I made friends with everybody........I was friends with the popular girls so that they would always have someone to go to when the other popular girls were being snotty. I was a dang good friend! I was always a good listener for the boys when they needed to talk to someone about their girlfriend. I learned not to judge people because ".....there but for the grace of God go I." No one knew what I was going through because I was the one that was there for everyone else. I don't think that I would change that. I think that my "ugliness" actually worked in my favor.......I think I actually became beautiful because of those tough times.

When President Hinckley blows kisses to the crowd----THAT's BEAUTIFUL.

When we as a country came together after 911, flags were hanging from almost every house......THAT's BEAUTIFUL.

When you can make someone who doesn't have a lot to smile about, S M I LE or even laugh--THAT's BEAUTIFUL.

When my kids wake up and tell me they love me and I say it back and we make eye contact--THAT's BEAUTIFUL.

I could go on and on about what is truly BEAUTIFUL and it would have nothing to do with physical appearance.

When I die, I want to be remembered for who I touched or influenced for good.

At my darkest, I absolutely beat myself to death with the ugly stick. I look up the Extreme Makeover application online and print it out. I've never sent it in because I'm coming to know that my beauty or anybody else's for that matter, is NEVER determined by what's on the outside (at least not for very long!) It is ALL of who we are, the fact that we are a child of God, and all of our earthly experience and what we do with it that give us worth.

What are your BEAUTIFULS?